sometimes you just feel like letting out

i'm being very patient with you

as you are so impatient with me

under the sea

DROWNING
drowning
drowning
down
down
down

sighs

yawns

i should sleep. i should glue my eyes together and sleep.

tick tock tick tock
sighs. what to do??

first week as 1st year medic student. pretty nicee. for once, i actually appreaciate physics. i see number and figures.
ouhh..i miss maths.

a lot of ym-ing and facebooking.
but life doesnt feel so empty. it's full of wonders and meanings.

am i making sense?? no, i dont think so. *boredddddd*
=.=




sometimes i feel like im losing myself. problems just DROWN you.

and i love you for giving me your eyes, for staying back and watching me shine

i miss my family :[

i miss how we used to all hang out in the living room to talk and joke. i miss how we used to either sit on the sofa or lie on the furry carpet. i miss how we could talk about everything and anything. how we can reminisce about the past. how we can wonder about the future. how we can talk about the wonderful present. how me and ibu would watch and laugh in silent when abah and atiqah start their 'drama'. how abah would always try to jump into conversations without knowing what we're actually talkin about. how syafeeqah would so rajinly urut ibu and abah. how aqil would laugh at everything i say haha. how atiqah would bend her head and scrunch her face when she's wondering about something. how ibu would always be the first one to sleep hihi. how i could just hug her how i want to!

how i could just hug her how i want to. how i could just pull any of them and hug them.
i miss hugs
i miss those moments

i'm tastin salt on my lips..

..........................................................................................

wishing them every happiness insyaAllah

emotions extremely unstable

i just spent the whole night watching Armageddon?

something has got to be wrong with me.












i think i'm freaking out.
162 hours?
yikes

sighs

What do you do if you can't say something or don't have the guts to say that thing to someone though you really want to?

On Sunday...

I woke up late ;D

Helped Ibu cooked 3 different dishes, which was an eye-opener ;D;D

Felt a little raya-spirited today so I offered to take down the curtains and urged everyone to go paint our pagar outside that has been left unpainted since last year =.=

Suddenly missed our unofficial cat. Weird. I usually hate that cat. Called out its unofficial name. And it actually came xD

Someone by the same name of that cat called me on the telephone haha.

Played with the cat while talking on the telephone and watching my bro n sis played with paint.

Should've known that I couldn't concentrate on 3 things at once. Did something that must had been unacceptable to that cat. Officially earned a little 'souvenir' from it!

Curses. Hated the cat for a while. Thinking of giving it a little 'makeover'. *evilgrin.paintingshouldbefun.evilgrin*

Decided otherwise. No, not because I accepted my mistake and apologised to the cat. Really, no.

Blamed the whole situation on the person who called me. Hahakk =P

Azan. Ate quickly. Really in need of a shower =D

Terawih at the usual masjid. Felt a little sentimental. Will I get to go to this same masjid for the coming Ramadhans?

Back home. Had fun merepek-repek with bro and sis.
Really am gonna miss them <3

Internet time! Courteously asked bro n sis to leave xD

A friend asked for help. Happily offered it =D

Phone rang. Weird and interesting convo. Wondered if we could still have these types of convo's in the coming years.

AND I won a game of 'o-som'!
Yay me!

note to self

::the curiosity of the mind is such a dangerous thing::

If I'd made little cards & distributed them to everyone..

..then maybe these are what they would've said :)

*the following list are in random order

thanx mun..for helping me out on the first day and the following weeks that were coming. You were one of the 1st friends I'd made in INTEC. N I really like your happy-go-lucky style. Huu eventho ur 'kecik' but ur like a bomb. BOOM!

thanx izzati..for always being so 'semangat' no matter what comes. I really enjoyed listening to ur silly stories, night and day.
xyah lebey2, cu in volgo! haha


thanx ming yan..who's just so cool about everything. Exams or no exams, ur just so cool haha. Thx for helping out in Physics and Russian and all sorts. I think ur just so cool! :D N so humorous. So glad to have known and befriended u. Gudluck in Niznhy!

thanx ida..for being sooo happy, happy, happy! Everytime i see u, no matter how sad or moody i am, i just get soo happy hehe. N u always know when something's wrong, thx for taking such good care of me. Spread the happiness, love!

thanx meera..for being such a great husband?? haha lolz kidding2. bt xtually, the 1st time i saw u, i fell in love with u at once haha =P. You always have something to say and I enjoyed our crappings' together. Looking forward to see u in Volgo again!


thanx nabila(without a 'h')..for listening to my pathetic stories, for understanding how pathetic i can be sometimes haha. I can always relate to you *WINKWINK* keep strong!




thanx azly..for being friendly when i first entered INTEC, for helping out those 1st few days. Glad to have known u n i'll see u in Volgo :)


thanx hanis..for the sarcastic remarks u always made =P. Honestly..i've never met anyone like u.

thanx ikhwan..for simply being u :) hehe

thanx amirul..for helpin' out in Russian, for all those stories and dialogues u let me read. Kat Volgo xbole da uuu :|


thanx reuben..for all those nice chatters. I really, really enjoyed your presence. Next time someone try to pretend to be me again, be sure to tell me k haha


thanx hasnol..for without u, i'm not sure how ikhwan would be hehe. We were never really close in class but i think u are a great guy. n i really enjoyed your presentation in Islamic Studies :D


thanx nazri..for also spreading your happiness. I like the way u laugh, how u always get so jumpy in class heh2. Sorry for not recognizing u as 1 of my classmates the 1st time we met.


thanx shaun..cause i think u are really funny :D and have a great attitude. Haven't gotten to get to know u really well - which is such a shame huu - but wishing u all the best in Nizhny!

thanx amzar..for being so cute haha. With your funny remarks and witty comments, really who could resist this Kelantanese haha ;p


thanx azizi..cause to put it simply, i think you are such a gentleman ;D

thanx prakash..for always having something to say ahakx. Adoii ko memang xleh duduk diam haha but in truth, i really do enjoyed ur presence hehe. Do take care of my dear insyirah in Niznhy.


thanx azri..for being so enjoyable, for those memories =) all the way from that BI presentation up until now ^^

Thankyou Ekaterina Anatolivna! I think you are the best Russian lecturer in the whole wide world! <3

for fellow housemates, some whom I might not see for a long, long timee..

thanx wah..for those late-night chatters haha sbb our housemates suke tido awal kan hehe. Ak ske sikap ko yg rilekkx je huu n ur blog, keep it updated k!

thanx fatin..for being so cute haha. ko mmg comel, ckp lam tefon comel, gelak comel, sume comel huu. ko jgn lupe kt nasyrah yg baek ney tw haha.


thanx insyirah..UUUU CMNE KO LEH WAT AK SYG GLE KT KO?? huu how sad that we won't get to be roomates in russia :( ko mmg pandai berlakon n sentiasa wat ak gelak. Ur just so innocent haha. I really am gonna MISS YOU <3

thanx to all lecturers and staffs and other friends i've not the time to mention in INTEC for those enjoyable and unforgettable moments!

I've only been around 2months++ in INTEC but I feel like I've bonded with ALL OF YOU for life. LOVE YOU! <3

And at the end of each of these little cards, there my name would be signed..

-nasyrahxx-

count your blessings

Yes. I'm very 'rajin' at updating, I am. Since ppl have been saying how 'rajin' I am at updating, I feel like updating now. There you go =P

Hurm..so what shall the topic be for today? Actually, I have been thinking - wait, pondering (haha)- about something for quite some time now. Sometimes, I feel like I'm so absorbed in my own little world that I forget that I need to step down and reach the ground again. Like bleh? That doesn't even make sense? =p. 2nd attempt? It's just that sometimes, I feel like I'm busy melayan feelings or whatever emotions or sangap or bladibla and....blah, I really am not making sense today.
Not to me at least.
You guys understand what I'm trying to say??

The point is - and I am now trying to think up of sentences that could explain, no, capture what I'm feeling right now, achehh haha.. - I sometimes forget that He is above us, watching over everything. And we forget that He is beyond great and that He has given us so many blessings. And what do we repay them with?

What DO we repay the blessings with?

missing someone

I really don't see why I'm doing this. Cause I have oh-so-many ex(s) to work this with. Not. =.=

You have to answer the survey with an honest heart.

An honest heart will give you good luck for the entire

year. You may imagine of one people or

maybe some people not only one.

Answer it, "What if your ex says" referring to you!!!

1. Why did you let me go?

- I was scared

2. I still love you

- Me too

3. When did we last talk?

- 6 years ago

4. Will you go out with me?

- Mm-hm

6. I cannot keep my promise to you.

- Why? sighs

7. My friends say we don't look good together..

- So does mine

8. You have changed!

- Yes I have

9. Can we get back together?

- I hope so

10. Oh, I know what this is all about. You found someone else.

- Nope

11. Don't you realize? You are the one who hurt me!

- I'm sorry

12. how can u forget our memories??

- I...did?

13. I will always love you.

- uh-huh

14. Would you die for our love?

- Let's not die, shall we

15. You jump, i jump..remember?

- .......

16. Kiss me to break the curse if i sleep for a hundred years.

- *sheesh. I feel like the questions are getting stupid-er*

17. Whats the difference between me and Him/Her.

- Lots

18. I saw you last night with your girlfriend/boyfriend.

- He's not my boyfriend

19. Without me, your life wouldn't be complete.

- I hope the same applies to you

20. Why are you doing this to me?

- Urm..what?

Sighs. The few precious minutes of my time. And yours. Wasted. ;p

I hate pills. I really do.

So we had about one week of holiday due to H1N1. Yes, yes everyone knows that. I'm not so good with updates, am I? =P

For most, this week is a blessing from above as it gave us all a chance to go back to our hometowns and meet back with family and friends, thus inevitably cure our homesickness.
Besides that, it is also a chance for us to catch-up with our studies and finish the bulging amount of assignments that had yet to be completed.

Homesickness? Cured.
Assignments? Mm-hm.

I wish I could get all jumpy and say I've completed all the work that was to be done, thanks to chocolate wafer sticks (cause they do taste better than strawberry ;p). On the contrary, I have done the complete opposite which is...doing nothing. Mm-hm.

I am ashamed to say that I've only just opened my bag yesterday and took out my Physics notes and exercises to study and prepare for my quiz. And that lasted for about...2 hours? Or is that too much of an exxageration? Uh-huh.

This house is really making me lazy, for reasons yet to be discovered. Let's discover them, shall we?
Hmm...I've been sleeping a LOT. I think it's because this house has a lot of really comfortable sleeping 'spots'. I go down and I can choose to lie on the sofa or the furry rug or the bed inside the guest room. I go to my room and of course my lovely pink bed is seducing me. I go to my parent's room and an even bigger and more luscious bed is flirting.
Haha I think it's starting to sound weird now.
And thus, the soporific effect of my home. =D

And I think the demam I had also contributes to this laziness. I blame this on the disgusting pills I am forced to consume, cos I hate 'em cos I suspect there's something inside 'em that produces these bad side effects.

Bla di bla. I'm sure I could go on and on about the factors of my laziness but my conscience is telling me to stop being all whiny and accept the fact that I've been lazy out of my own doing. I'm sure Mr. Conscience is right. He's ALWAYS right.

I'm lazy and I still have a lot of work to do, mmg padan muke sy. :p


Now, excuse me, I'm going to see if I can self-transport myself to nabila's house and steal some of her rajin-ness.

Lessons learned

Over the weekend, I've learnt that:

- More than 12 hours of sleep results in a headache you'd rather not have =.=
- The laundry must be washed regularly, else you would spend your lovely, precious, free weekend washing your clothes =.='
- You should finish all your work and studies before deciding to go out with your cousin the whole day =.="

Most importantly, I learned that I should not repeat the above mistakes :p

A little love note to my dearest housemates: sayang semua! =D

I miss you, Mr.Sleep!

So Ibu mentioned today that I need to take care of my health.

I agree.

I've neglected Mr.Health for the sake of Mr.Russian Language, Mr.Physics, Mr.Biology, Mr.Chemistry, Mr.....
*haha, I'll stop that, for now*
that just sounds really sad and emo-ish
but hey! I did miss a lot of sleep! =P

In truth, I just feel really, really tired. Emotionally, physically, mentally and all that.

Hopefully, things will turn out better soon. xD InsyaAllah.

A little motivation for me, anyone? Miss Hasnaa, please? =)

I'm quite a reserved person so blogging is really not my thing (who'd want to read it anyway??=p). But since this is compulsary for English...there's a first for everything I suppose? So here goes..

*gee, I don't know what to write about*

11 days in INTEC and life is....
wonderful?
full of surprises?
awfully hectic and TIRING? xD

To be honest, I'm really, really happy to be here. First of all, so grateful that I got the scholarship. Second and most importantly, the peeps here are so awesome! Maybe because there are only a few of us so I really feel a sense of closure with the people here. And I love my class! Let's see...Meera, Ming Yan, Izzati, Nabilah, Ida, Munirah, Hasnol, Ikhwan, Reuben, Shawn, Prakash, Azizi, Amirul, Hanis, Azri, Amzar, Azly, Nazri (APOLOGIES to those if I've spelt your name wrong!). They're such fun and friendly classmates to have and I'm glad. =)

Lessons?
Haha I had to learn 3 weeks of Russian Language in 3 days (gag if you want to ;p). I'm trying my UTMOST HARDEST to catch up with the group though in class, there are a few times where I'll get so blurry and my face would go like this: o.O while my brain tries to compute and interpret what Mdm. Ekaterina had just said and screaming "What did she just say?" in the inside, all at the same time =p. Then, have to keep asking questions to those around me about the meanings of thisword and thatword. And I feel so bad after asking so many questions =.=.
And I've been studying a lot of Russian Language that I sometimes forget that I also have to catch up with the other subjects. Like Biology, Chemistry, Physics, Russian History, English and Pen. Islam. Chemistry seems okay but there are a lot to revise for Biology and Physics. English is relaxing and fun. I had to act (me acting??0.O) as a doctor yesterday in English which was nerve-wrecking (cause we had to be the first one =.=) but I just went with the flow of my excellent partner. It was enjoyable too, since all the groups have different styles, so funny-lah =D.
AND did I mention I already have 3 assignments (for now), a presentation due next week, a roleplay and a test!

Life is wonderful. xD

P/s: THANKYOU to all teachers and friends for helping me to adapt to a new life in INTEC. =)