the idea

the idea is fantastical

a strange fantasy

an illogical make believe

a made up string

a fleeted fling

the idea remains an idea

suppressed down below

swimming to the surface

destroy it, save my face

leave it without a trace

teaching the mirror

if only mirrors could talk

then i might not be so alone

trapped in my own thoughts

"make it make sense" 

the undertones of those beatings

i surrender and i accept my loss

now stop filling the space of my reasonings

let me sleep

and let me be in peace

making my bed

i am guilty of lost hope

of broken promises

of forgotten dreams

of unintentional oath

one step a mistake

two steps too late

unity was a lie

of what's left unsaid

the guilt is creeping up on me

i hope you found peace

i hope your blood kin never encounter those of me

some deserves better

and some couldn't be better

forgive me

i'm trying to forgive myself

the pathological grief

i grieved in my sleep

tears swelled over closed eyelids

they came unannounced, the scenes of the deep

from the past to the future, the pangs still hit

even in dreams i am yet to get over it

sometimes dreams are the realities, and the reality is just something you dream of ?

maybe