Tuesday, October 10, 2017

The first breath


Lub dub lub dub
Awoken she
Lub dub lub dub
What can this be
Lub dub she smile
Lub dub her eyes
Sees what her heart feels




Friday, September 8, 2017

Crutches for the crippled heart

And she says
If the heart can walk, then i must be crippled

Partial of a whole

I am talking but i am mute
I can hear though i am deaf
I see yet i am blind
I feel but my heart stopped beating
I'll show u whats inside cos i can barely speak it
Show u what is whole tho there is nothing whole about it



Sunday, September 3, 2017

Random blabbers

Sometimes, i read my own blog
Like i read back and relieved those moments and how it made me write certain things
Sometimes i'm even shocked at my own writing
Like what is this masterpiece
Hahaa

I read back and be that girl again

Sometimes i have too jumbled up thoughts
And sometimes i dont feel like thinking at all
Its like i cant process my thoughts into words
Like you want to get past this loud silence inside your head
And yet nothing comes out of it

I am so far and nowhere near

Saturday, October 29, 2016

namanya Sagwa II

I was rereading my older posts and came across an entry of how miss nasyrah meets her first cat. Mew

And suddenly i feel like continuing that story. So we stopped at me finding sagwa back after praying and she was nowhere to be found. How did i find her back? Jengjenggg. In all honesty, i dont quite remember.  Hahaa. i think my friend saw her outside and kept her in a box up in our house. Though i remember thinking like wow this must be fate.

So you see, it's human nature to forget memories
But its also human nature to remember feelings
You can forget memories but you don't forget how you feel
and if you do remember, sometimes how you were feeling or what you were thinking about at that certain moment is more profound than the memory itself
Geddit?

Like i might forget how exactly my world and Sagwa's world collided
But i remember that she felt heavy sleeping over my blanket and i can't move because i'm that kind of owner who does anything for my cat and will make sure she's not disturbed sleeping and i felt safe and protective under my blankie
And i remember that i felt dependent on a kitty that if i was feeling down the first thing i want to find and play with is her hoping that she would make me feel better and forget about the world a while

I remember thinking what a weird cat i got cos her favourite food was bread (always ruining ppls packet of xleb) and ikra (always came running whenever i opened the jar)
I remember waking up with a cat licking my hair

I remember how sad i was to let her go and i let her go outside the house and she got scared of other kitties and climbed straight up a tree and was never seen again

I remember i loved her
And i miss that.

Mew

#pleasegotobednow
#tomorrowisaworkingday
#zzzz

Friday, January 29, 2016

di dalam guaku

Ada orang sangat passionate dan menjiwai, bila baca cerita sedih menangis, tengok movie tragis meleleh, seolah-olah dia sendiri berada di situ, seolah-olah dia sendiri menjadi watak di pentas itu.
Aku boleh dikatakan tidak seperti itu *okaylaa kadang2 kememehh jugakk* tapi aku kagum dengan orang-orang macam ni, yang punyai kotak perasaan yang besar dan penuh emosi : )))

Allahuakbar, Allah Maha Besar, tanya kepada diriku sendiri, mampukah aku rasakan getaran menyebut nama Tuhanku? Sedangkan syaitan berlari ketakutan mendengar nama Rabb seluruh alam, kenapa manusia seperti boneka yang hanya petah bercakap tetapi tidak menjiwai?

Well, technically dolls can't talk but you get what i mean

Manusia, amalnya sedikit tapi rasakan dirinya sudah cukup baik, sudah penuhi semua perintah Tuhannya
Rasulullah, amalnya lebih besar dari apa-apa sahaja yang kita mampu lakukan tapi taubat malamnya, tangisan memohon ampun kepada Tuhannya seolah-olah dialah si pembuat dosa yang paling hina.

Fikirku lagi, tangisan-tangisanku semuanya berkaitan dengan dunia *time dapat ujian/musibah terus cari Tuhan wuwu T.T*, pernahkah diri ini menangis kerana memikirkan diriku disayangi Allah tak? Amalanku diterima Allah tak? Aku hamba yang taat tak?

Takut kepada Tuhan, bukan kerana Dia menakutkan.
Takut kepada Tuhan, kerana takut bekalan amalan di dunia tidak cukup untuk mendapat rahmatnya, untuk memasuki syurga di sana. Pernahkah aku?
Kerana bila engkau takut yang engkau tidak cukup amalan, di situ pasti lahirnya amalan-amalanmu.

Kadang-kadang manusia perlu muhasabah diri sendiri di dalam guanya.
Kurangkan tawamu dan banyakkan menangis.
Wuwuwu

Monday, January 11, 2016

Hush, love

Soothe me into the calm
Hush
With a kiss goodbye of what went by
Away, bitter sentiments of the dark
Take me into the light, o that sweet realm
Within, might i find that forgotten calm