Tuesday, November 7, 2023

no one's there

as i swallow the pills
in my fever state
i can almost hear a whisper from within
"i'll take care of you"

...

will it be as pure as white as snow
or will it be as lush as green can be
will there never be turmoil
will there never be grief
will it be forever contentment
will i never be sad, even just a moment

Sunday, October 15, 2023

i..have been staring at the ceiling for far too much

Tuesday, October 10, 2023

watermelon

in the name of defense
and in the name of the greater world
you did the unimaginable
of a margin you built
of the terror you provoked
yet you call yourself righteous and merciful
pen on my paper
blood on your hands
don't call it war, in this one-sided gameplan

Monday, October 9, 2023

day to day

_acceptance
some dreams are just forgotten
some dreams i don't dare to wish upon
it's easier to deal with when there are just no expectations
keep your feelings at bay, keep your heart unthreatened

_prayers
show me a life of ease
show me a life of comfort
show me a life of love
show me a life of gratitude
show me serene
show me peace
show me joy
show me release
curled on my bed, words unsaid

_shellter
my numbed shell has cracked
and my flaws are getting into my head
i used to struggle with a lack of emotions
now i'm drowning in a pool of it

Saturday, October 7, 2023

the conflict

how i feel is not how i feel i should feel
how i think is not how i think i should think
how i act is not how i should or would have acted
how i am may or may not be how i am
how i write corresponds to my thoughts
but my thoughts right now are just quite a lot

Wednesday, October 4, 2023

PNG

1. untitled
she's buying my name on a grain of rice
who would have thought that was possible
if i bury your name in the name of forgiveness
would it all then be settled

2. drenched
getting drunk on my sorrows on a weekend just because i can
my tears flowed like the damned lady's water broke
all my wounds bled open, they glisten in crimson
lost in my selfmade maze, confused in a daze
getting a haircut, getting myself clean
i can't lose myself.. i have to win

3. senget @ LSK
the walk to the cafe
the cat has chosen me
markisa soda in my hand
with a friend who understands
she's distracted and i'm in my head
pouring words of poetry instead
hope this cafe inspires you
i hope you'll get through

Sunday, October 1, 2023

grudge(s)

i don't know when a grudge will no longer be a grudge
he said it's not how, but a matter of when
will when be today, or just before my deathbed
will i ever forgive and forget
everything done, everything said
when will it be 'the end' ?