half awake inspiration

what if i'd died of unknown death
before i'd a chance to forgive myself

what if the fan on the ceiling just keep spinning
i'd envy, forever its purpose known to it
what if the lights blacked out
blinding my sight but not of my thoughts
what if i say what i haven't yet
what if u are all what's about it

delusion

what if love is just a delusion
what if your voice a hallucination
what if your touch an imagination

what if your feelings a mere creation
of my thoughts, a mere disturbance
of my mind, a perception
that exist only if i believe it

and if i believed i loved you then
was i in love or was it all just an illusion

i wanna hug my younger self

i wanna hug my younger self

i wanna tell it will get better

i wanna tell her she's able to be happy for herself

i wanna tell her it isn't so bitter anymore

i wanna tell her i'm proud of her

i wanna tell her little changes is strong enough

i wanna tell her growth takes time and that's okay

tears and sorrows will pass someday

your youth is yours and the lessons are ours

what's to come are uncertain, what's sweet, what's sour

live on, live life 🤍

mindplay

i saw u in a dream

we've never met

but why did it feel real

why did it feel raw

why did i refuse to open my eyes

i didn't even get your name

short meet in a bus

but buses don't run forever

it could have been a rest stop

it could have been the end

i woke up in a daze

an afternoon midnight

i supposed i'm healed

when i wouldn't mind going back to that place

instead of the tears and broken wings

i remember friends and happy feelings

i guess it's true that time will heal

as true as the curse, she was killed

remained a breathing corpse

who gets to live again

fading bruises with hope remains

mixed signals

grey is between black & white

frozen between fight or flight

ice blended nor liquid nor solid

a fleeting thought the fits and misfits

if out of sight is it out of mind

that grey between u & i

a little bit of a little bit

i feel a little sentimental

a little bit lonely

a little bit sad

a little bit empty

a little bit dead

a little bit of not a lot

a little bit of what's not

i feel it i feel it not